


Are you there?

by chaWOOPa



Series: Red Vs Blue Short Stories [19]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Homophobic Language, M/M, attempted suicide, lots of sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 04:45:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3755008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaWOOPa/pseuds/chaWOOPa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"ARE YOU THERE?"<br/>Tucker’s phone buzzed, but he only spared it a glance before continuing to clean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are you there?

**ARE YOU THERE?**

Tucker’s phone buzzed, but he only spared it a glance before continuing to clean.

**TUCKER, PLEASE. WE ARE WORRIED ABOUT YOU.**

Tucker ignored his phone as he looked around the spotless house. He hated it.

**TUCKER I AM COMING TO YOUR HOUSE. WE ARE GOING TO GO OUT, OKAY? YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE WITH YOUR PARENTS TONIGHT, IT IS GOING TO BE OKAY.**

Tucker’s parents weren’t home, and when Church got to his house it would be like he hadn’t ever existed. All of his stuff was gone, it had been for weeks.

**TUCKER HOLY SHIT WHERE ARE YOU? EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR YOU AND WE CAN’T FIND YOU ANYWHERE, PICK UP YOUR DAMN PHONE.**

Tucker took a deep breath, letting his phone ring and ring, not answering, not declining the call; He simply didn’t have the strength to do either.

**TUCKER I CALLED YOUR PARENTS, NEITHER OF THEM KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. WASH IS DESPERATE. HE LOVES YOU. IF YOU COME BACK NOW YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SPEND ANOTHER DAMN DAY IN THAT GOD AWFUL HOUSE WITH THOSE GODAWFUL PEOPLE AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME?**

Tucker parked the car on the edge of the forest and pulled a piece of paper from his glove box. He froze for a minute, staring at the blank paper, the unsettling peace he had been feeling all week broken and his hands shaking as he tried to put his disorganized thoughts into words.

_**Tucker, Please, You can’t do this. I need you. Please answer your phone.** _

Tucker felt tears pooling in his eyes as he walked slowly, slowly, slowly towards the cliff. He couldn’t feel the cold wind hitting his face or the sharp leaves catching his skin. He couldn’t feel the wet droplets hit his face as it started to rain. He couldn’t feel anything but the hollowness that had been growing inside him for months as he came to a stop looking down into his own personal black abyss. He heard sirens on the road far behind him, but they were too far away to matter.

**_Tucker please._ **

Tucker closed his eyes and spread his arms wide. He could hear his parent’s sharp words echoing in his mind; hear them condemn him for who he was; feel his father’s hands on his arm and the sharp sting on his cheek where his Father had hit him. He could hear the bullies; he could hear the pastor; he could hear his parents; he could hear all of their hate; but he couldn’t hear the running footsteps behind him or the sound of his name being screamed as he started to fall forward into blackness.

**_Tucker… I need you._ **

Tucker wasn’t sure why he hadn’t died yet. He didn’t remember the impact, only the brief feeling of the wind rushing through his hair and then darkness. Everything around him was darkness. He opened his eyes frantically, searching for anything, but nothing changed, everything was still dark. He curled up in a ball, too scared to call out. He supposed he should have known that death would mean nothing but darkness, after all, hell was supposed to be a person’s biggest fear, wasn’t it? And hell was where all fags went in the end.

**_Tucker, Church told me what happened. I am on my way to the hospital now. I know texting you a waste, but I don’t really care. North is driving. Just… Hold on, okay? Hold on…_ **

Tucker didn’t know how long had passed since he had woken up to this darkness, how could he when all senses had lost meaning and the only thing real to him was the cool surface beneath his fingertips. He heard his name spoken softly in the distance and he jumped. He knew that voice. He started to shake as his name was called again, terrified of what that sound meant. He couldn’t summon the willpower to make his limbs move, so instead he laid there cowering. If he was coming than let him.

**_They are only letting family back to see you. I can’t get back there. Your Mother is out here though, I wonder if she knows that it is her fault you are in there._ **

After a while the voice stopped and Tucker was glad.

**TUCKER, I YELLED AT YOUR PARENTS. BOTH OF THEM. I SCREAMED UNTIL MY VOICE GAVE OUT. THEY ARE THE REASON YOU ARE BACK THERE. THEY ARE THE REASON YOU ARE ALONE RIGHT NOW, BUT MAYBE WHEN THE NURSES LET ME BACK INTO THE WAITING ROOM I CAN TAKE SOLACE IN RIPPING THEIR FACES OFF AND THEIR THROATS OUT.**

In time even the surface on which he lay lost all meaning and Tucker felt as if he were floating. He heard a new voice start to call him after what felt like decades. This voice filled him with a warmth he hadn’t felt since before he came out. It was filled with sadness, and love, and anger, and a thousand other things as it said his name like that was the only thing it could say. Tucker savored the sound as each syllable rang out, never getting closer, but allowing a small glimmer of light sine on his face. He wasn’t aware of standing up, only of moving towards it slowly, slowly, slowly. He could feel the cold wind hitting his face and the sharp leaves catching his skin. He could feel the wet droplets hit his face as it started to rain. He could feel everything but the hollowness that had filled him for months and he heard his name whispered as some gripped his hand and he moved ever closer to the distant light. His limbs were heavy and he wasn’t sure if he could make it there.

**WASH HASN’T SLEPT IN DAYS. YOU NEED TO WAKE UP, OTHERWISE I DON’T THINK HE EVER WILL AGAIN. HE KEEPS TALKING TO YOU, HE TELLS YOU EVERYTHING FROM THE COLOR OF SHOES HE IS WEARING THAT DAY TO HOW MY PARENT’S BATTLE FOR CUSTODY OVER YOU IS GOING. I DON’T KNOW WHY HE KEEPS TALKING TO YOU, BUT THEN AGAIN, I AM STILL TEXTING YOU AREN’T I? SO I CAN’T REALLY SAY A WORD.**

The light went out occasionally, and every time it did Tucker could feel himself floating further away, but it would come back soon. He moved closer to it inch by inch, never looking behind him at the monsters he could feel breathing down his neck, just waiting for a chance to strike and drag him back down. He wasn’t sure why he kept going, working his way towards the voice he loved so much, but it didn’t really matter. After all, he was dead, so what could it possibly do to him? He knew he would never reach it, after all, Hell was designed to torture you, wasn’t it?

**TUCKER PLEASE WAKE UP. CAROLINA BLAMES HERSELF. YOUR PARENTS ARE STILL PAYING FOR YOUR HOSPITAL BILL, BUT MY PARENTS WON CUSTODY. IN THE END YOUR PARENTS GAVE IT UP. THE JUDGE FINALLY CALLED BULLSHIT ON THEIR ASSES AND THEY ADMITTED TO EVERYTHING. IF-WHEN YOU WAKE UP THEY ARE PAYING FOR YOUR MEDICAL BILLS AND THERAPY AND EVERYTHING, IT IS THE LAST THING THEY ARE REQUIRED TO DO AS YOUR BIOLOGICAL PARENTS, BUT THEY AREN’T ALLOWED IN TO SEE YOU ANYMORE.**

Tucker was so close to the light he could feel its warm glow permeate the darkness around him. He reached out and touched it, his dark skin shining for a moment before the light engulfed him and he was suddenly hyper aware of the sheets on his legs and the hand clutching his own as someone in the room hummed a sad song. Tucker blinked and everything came rushing back to him, registering all at once. He groaned as the pain in his entire body lit his head on fire and he wished desperately to go back to being dead.

**_I love you so much._ **

Tucker was out of the forest and off the cliff. He was not trapped in darkness, and he was not crying in his car over a goodbye note he couldn’t write. He wasn’t looking around an empty room that used to hold all his childhood memories. Tucker wasn’t in a hospital bed, and he wasn’t in a desk at school, but the most important thing was that he wasn’t in a grave. No, Tucker was not in the grave, and even though every step he took caused physical pain beyond what he thought he could bare for the first few years after, he never again wish that he was.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry.
> 
> The bolded and all caps is Church texting Tucker, the bolded italics is Wash texting Tucker.


End file.
